Well we made our news official - We put it on Facebook! ha! Our neighbor/friend/follow photographer took these awesome photos one day! We wanted to do something special to celebrate this wonderful news! It is still hard to believe that there is a miracle growing inside me! I think once I start feeling the baby move and start showing more- it will sink in! 

Oct 12, 2012 Friday- is a day that was hard to forget. This was our original due date with baby #1. This day came so fast and we remember our sweet angel who is now in heaven with our heavenly Father! Someone very special happened that day- I don't remember if I said anything before, but I rented a heart beat doppler. It's basically the same kind of doppler that the doctor uses to listen for the baby's heartbeat. It can be very difficult to find the heartbeat at home. So Friday was the big day and I got to hear it for the first time at home. Good strong fast heartbeat. In the 170's. I called Nathan (hubby) and found it again and let him hear it. Then called my mom and let her hear it. I was so amazed that i found it several times. There are some days where I can't find it. I have to remind myself that the baby is still very small and it doesn't mean something is wrong. Every time i do find it, I am just so amazed. God has chosen me to carry this child and for Nathan and I to be him or her parents. What an honor! We feel so blessed. Please continue to pray for Baby Bayer and that he or she stays healthy and growing and that their heartbeat continues to beat strong! Thank you!!

I love this photo and also this verse. It is a verse that I need to read every day. Trust is something I struggle with and even more so since my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. I know God has a plan for my life and all things work together for my good. I just need to truly believe that. I've always had strong faith, but I'm struggling right now. We went to the doctor on Sept 4th and everything looked and sounded good! Because of my trust issues, I made another appointment for another sonogram to make sure things were still good a week later. Sure enough- things looked good still. My next appointment is in a week. I hate waiting! It is so hard. I know that God is testing my patience and strength. Being pregnant is one of those things that is completely out of our hands. I mean yes you can control your lifestyle, your eating habits, etc...but you have no real control on the baby. This is something we must place in God's hands and just trust Him. I wish I could live a worry free life, I know that we are not supposed to worry- but I'm sure God knows it's bound to happen. I guess i'm writing to ask for your prayers. I know this is out of my control and I want to have faith and want to trust God through it all. I am looking forward to my next doctor's appointment and pray that all goes well. 

Isn't it amazing, how life begins. I love this verse. 

Jeremiah 1:5
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” 

A baby's heart starts beating at just 5 weeks. To me a baby is alive, the moment it is conceived. Some may disagree. The little tiny baby (the size of a pea) has a heart beating just like you and I. What a true miracle. God designed something so unique and so amazing. The gift of life.

I decided to start a baby blog. I think this will help me put my thoughts out there and to really think about my pregnancy in a different way. Here is where my story begins.....

On February 17, 2012- I found out I was pregnant. It was quite the surprise. We had not been trying but not really preventing (you know how that goes). I guess I was expecting to have problems. I was diagnosed with PCOS (Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome With PCOS, I had always heard it is harder to conceive. We were very excited that it had only taken 6 months to get pregnant, even though we weren't planning it, we were very excited and felt so very blessed. We had been house hunting and we still yet to find "the one". So much to prepare for now.  On March 19th i was about 10 or 11 weeks along. We had an appointment to go to the doctor to hear the heartbeat. We were so excited, but nervous as well. Most moms feel nervous until they hear that little heartbeat to reassure them that their little bean is okay. What we thought was going to be a day to celebrate, was a day that haunts our minds still. You know how some things are hard to remember in life. This moment was a moment we couldn't forget if we tried. We met with the doctor and she congratulated us and tried listening to the heartbeat with the doppler. She did not hear anything, but said that it's sometimes is hard to hear it this early. She said we could go get a sonogram/ultrasound. Still hoping that things were normal, we walked into the ultrasound room. I remember it being very quiet and then the ultrasound tech said the words I never wanted to hear. "do you want me to tell you what i'm seeing"?  Well YESSS! Just the tone of her voice and the type of question she asked meant bad news. She could not see or hear a heartbeat. It was like this was some kind of joke. Impossible that this could happen to us. It was like a nightmare. Of course you hear about this happening to others, but not me! It was a day that is still fresh in my mind. We met with the doctor and she gave me my options. I could let it pass on my own (which we would have no idea when it would happen) or I could have a d&c procedure. I chose the d&c procedure and it took place just a few days later. First major surgery of my life and all I could think about was -they were taking my baby. The baby of course had already gone to heaven, but March 21st was one of the hardest days of my life. Luckily the procedure went smoothly and the recovery time went pretty good. I felt like all my joy had disappeared. I was so sad and heartbroken. Was I not good enough, did I do something wrong? These are all normal thoughts that go through most women's minds when this happens. 

The next few months were pretty emotional. We were still house hunting and that kept our mind off what had happened. On June 4, we closed on our house. We got an amazing deal and are making it into a home! Finally some good news! By then, I was doing pretty good and felt like my heart had healed. God truly got me through this dark storm in life. I tried to look at the positives. At least I could get pregnant. Life still had other blessings. Today I would have been 35 weeks pregnant and due in October. God had other plans and well we have an announcement!!!

WE'RE PREGNANT!

On August 18, I took a test and it was positive! My reaction?? Well I was crying and worried at first. And I thought wow! that was fast. I was thinking I don't know if I'm ready to go through this again and what if it turns out the same way. Well we are blessed to say that on September 4th, we went to the doctor and got to hear our little angel's heartbeat and see it. Below is a picture of our little blueberry! It's so tiny! Walking in to get the sonogram on Tuesday was so scary. I started to cry and get extremely nervous. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down. The tech blurted out "I SEE A HEARTBEAT". music to our ears!! What a great moment. God has blessed us and we are looking forward to this journey. I will keep you all updated on the progress of my pregnancy and Little Baby Bayer!!  I am due April 19th, 2013. We would appreciate any encouragement and prayers for a safe and healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby! :) Thank you!